Sometimes while I cruise through Facebook I see a post every now & then by single women stating, “Where are all the good and real men?” or even by single guys stating, “Where are all the good women?”
I know it’s somewhat of a personal question to post on Facebook, but some people post much more personal questions & things, it seems, at times. I have personally experienced this question/quandary myself at times. In my free & personal time, I am around a lot of people through church, ministries or non-profit/charities. In my career, I am in a people oriented profession too. One ministry I helped lead was a somewhat large Men’s Divorce Recovery & Re-Building Group, as well as a couple other Men’s ministries & even a Singles Group & Single Parent’s Group. And often the question is brought forth, “Where are all the good people who still believe in true love, commitment, loyalty, chivalry…?”
I too, must confess, I have had those questions too, even to this day. I think that all too often people may want too much too fast, or they may have been hurt so deeply from a past relationship(s) they are not comfortable being open enough to give a relationship a chance. In other words, they see their present, and/or future through their past. Or they have possibly become too scarred by the past, to heal for the potential of the present and future. They may begin to see each date, or relationship as a deep vetting process to search for and see all the bad, verses seeing all the good and potential. Then again, with social media, the Internet, 24/7 news, the want it now, have it now, and then who’s next or what can I find that’s better mentality has diminished the importance of deep, true and long lasting relationships. Also a person may say they want a “Christian” person/ a “Man of faith” a “Woman of faith” but want them to compromise their beliefs or convictions for a “pleasure of the moment or night.”
One must realize that people of faith do tend to live (as well as love) by a code or moral compass. So if you are a person seeking a “person of faith” you should not begrudge them for what convictions may come along with that. I believe you should respect and expect it.
Working close within Men’s Groups, I know there are real and great men out there that just want to find a woman who truly loves, and respects them and that they may love, honor and respect too. They are Christian men that do have certain standards, & convictions which may not be for every gal. However, I never consider that a negative in a real man, as I believe real men have strong faith, and are not ashamed of it. They also, typically, know how to love deeply & intently, protect, work, and care for a woman & a family and strive to live by a certain code that in my opinion should be respected and often admired.
If you are a single person and cannot seem to find the “real” and “good people” out there, maybe it might be that you are looking in the wrong places, or around the wrong people, or that you are not being still or quiet enough to listen to what God has in store for you right now or in the future. Maybe you, including myself, have not prayed enough about it, nor been patient enough. The best thing I believe is to always be yourself, the best version of yourself, and who God may be molding you into, as He may also be molding the other person for you to meet soon, maybe even today. It is always best in my opinion to be honest, & true to yourself. It is better to be disliked for who you are than liked for who you are not. If you desire to attract someone that has similar goals, interests, passions and desires, it is always better to be true to yourself first, love yourself, and be your true self. ~ end of deep post. Make it a great day!