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Manning Up: An Introduction

Manning Up is a multi-part series sharing what I’ve learned—and continue to learn—about what it means to be a good man, father, friend, and husband. Not perfect—because there is no perfect man, father, friend, or husband. We’re all human. We make mistakes. We fail.

The key is to strive—to grow, to learn from failures, and to gain wisdom along the way. Then, to pass that wisdom on to others—especially those we love and those who genuinely seek it.

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My Journey

Looking back on my life—from boyhood to manhood—I’ve always had a mindset of growth. I wanted to be the best version of myself. Later, as my faith deepened through church and ministry, I aspired to be a better man of God.

Raising two daughters and one son has been one of my greatest honors and blessings. Most of that time was as a divorced dad under the “Standard Order of Parenting”—about four days a month, a few hours on Wednesdays, and half the summer. It wasn’t easy, but I made every moment count: attentive, engaging, educational, fun, and nurturing.

I wanted to be the example my daughters would look for in a future husband and the example my son would strive to become. Did I get it right every time? No. But I did my best and trusted God with the rest. When I failed, I owned it, sought forgiveness, and learned from it. That’s a lesson I’ve taught my children too.

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Why It Matters

Fatherlessness is an epidemic that erodes families and society. The statistics are alarming—linked to crime, addiction, mental illness, and suicide. (Here’s a great resource: Fatherhood.org).

This is why I prioritize quality time with my kids above almost everything else. Divorce doesn’t mean children divorce their parents. It’s not their fault. They deserve both parents actively engaged in their lives.

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Friendship and Time

As I matured, I sought to be the best friend I could be—honorable, loyal, and respectful. Some friends valued that; others didn’t. Over time, I learned that friendship isn’t about quantity—it’s about quality.

Time is precious. You can’t buy more, and you can’t get it back. Large circles of friends often mean shallow relationships. True friends stand by you through ups and downs, offering encouragement, inspiration, and accountability. Others? They disappear when life gets hard—or worse, betray your trust.

Today, my circle is small—and intentional. Remember: you become the average of your five closest friends. Choose wisely.

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Marriage and Relationships

Dating and marriage aren’t what they used to be. Many rush into marriage based on fleeting emotions, looks, or image—without understanding the covenant of marriage.

Before a man considers marriage, he must know who he is, where he’s going, what he stands for, and Whom he serves.

Some may ask, “What makes you an expert—especially since you’ve been divorced?” My answer: experience, mistakes, and growth. Years of working with men’s groups, divorce recovery programs, studying relationships, earning mental health certifications, and deep self-discovery have taught me invaluable lessons.

If you don’t learn from mistakes, you’re doomed to repeat them. Wisdom comes from reflection, humility, and discernment.

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What’s Next

This series will explore what I believe are the 10 Marks of a Great Man (below)—qualities every man should strive for. These ideas draw from authors like Brian Tome (The 5 Marks of a Man) and John Eldredge (Wild at Heart), but also from my own life experiences.

Boys begin seeking their masculine identity as early as age 10. If they don’t find it at home, they’ll look elsewhere. As men, fathers, and followers of Christ, we must model what true masculinity looks like.

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“A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be.” – Frank A. Clark

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Being a man isn’t about dominance, wealth, or status—it’s about character, responsibility, and love. It’s about showing up when it matters most, leading with humility, and leaving a legacy that outlives you. The world needs men who will rise above mediocrity and embrace the calling to be protectors, providers, and servant leaders. The question is: will you answer that call?

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1. A good man is a man of his word. His word is his bond. He exudes integrity in all that he says and does. “The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.” — Proverbs 11:3. “The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.” — Proverbs 12:22.
2. A good man is not a harmless man, a good man is a very dangerous man that has it all under voluntary control. “Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle;” — Psalm 144:1. “When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own palace, his goods are safe” — Luke 11:21. “When I saw their fear, I rose and spoke to the nobles, the officials and the rest of the people: “Do not be afraid of them; remember the Lord who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives and your houses.” — Nehemiah 4:14
3. A good loves his wife and children in words, actions & deed. “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” — Ephesians 5:25. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” — 1 Corinthians 13:4–8. “Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.” — Romans 12:9
4. A good man can admit where and when he was wrong, apologize & seek forgiveness with humility. “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.” Proverbs 28:13. “Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.” — James 5:16.
5. A good man strives to learn from his mistakes and improve. “For the righteous falls seven times and rises again, but the wicked stumble in times of calamity” – Proverbs 24:16. “Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,” — Philippines 3:13
6. A good man takes a minority position for what is honorable, true, and right even if he has to stand alone. “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” — Deuteronomy 31:6
7. A good man has a vision. He regularly sets goals, strives to achieve them. “May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.”- Psalm 20:4. “Where there is no vision, the people perish” — Proverbs 29:18
8. A good man is a provider and a protector. “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” — 1 Timothy 5:8
9. A good man is a team player. He realizes to be the best he looks to not only a core team, a close and wise circle of influence, but thinks more of those around him, and the team, than he does himself only, be encouraging, inspiring and helping one another with accountability. “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.” — Proverbs 27:17. “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” — Proverbs 18:24
10. A good man works and takes pride in what he does as it is good to work, no matter what job, career or position, he works hard as to the Lord and not unto mankind. He ardently pursues excellence in his work, at home, and whatever he lays his hands to, but not perfectionism. “Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might, for there is no work or thought or knowledge or wisdom in Sheol, to which you are going” — Ecclesiastes 9:10. “Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit,[a] serve the Lord.” — Romans 12:11.  “Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,” – Colossians 3:23

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My hope is that this introduction sets the stage for what will be an honest, challenging, and inspiring journey through this series. I may refine and expand this section over time, so check back often.

In the chapters ahead, I’ll dive deeper into topics like fatherhood, authentic friendship, relationships, dating, and marriage—exploring what these look like through a lens of true masculinity. I’ll share what I believe a good man should strive to be, and what masculinity truly is (and isn’t).

Expect guest contributions—both men and women—for diverse perspectives. I’ll also include audio podcasts and video content along the way. So bookmark this page, subscribe to the blog, podcast, and YouTube channel, and let’s walk this journey together.

Ready for the next step? Part 2 (Chapter 1) is available here: https://purposeprinciplespassion.com/2022/12/15/manning-up-how-to-be-a-better-man-in-todays-society-and-digital-world-part-2-chapter-1-what-is-a-man/