We have on average 75K thoughts per day. 91% of those thoughts are the same each day. So the difference between living an ordinary and extraordinary life happens in those 9% of your daily thoughts.
“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think, say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play the one string we have, and that is our attitude… I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes” – Charles Swindoll
Have you ever had a doctor tell you to put your affairs in order? I have. Have you ever had a friend tell you that you are not going to recover, or be able to re-build? I have. Have you ever had a school mate or teacher tell you that you will not amount to anything? I have. Have you ever had a doctor tell you that you may never recover from an injury or illness? I have. Have you ever had a coach tell you that you do not have the ability or talent to compete? I have. Have you ever faced death? More than once? I have. Have you ever had a loved one, one whom said they love you or made a promise or even vow, then betray? More than once, or twice? I have. Have you ever heard God, or felt God tell you that you are enough. That you are miraculously, wonderfully, fearfully created and created for a purpose? I have.
In summary of all that I was told, I ended up not having to put my affairs in order. I did recover, and re-build. I did, and have amounted to something being very successful in my career, achieving certifications, increasing my education, and help heal minds and souls. I did, and do have the athletic ability running HS varsity track, achieving more than one black belt, competing, winning as well as instructing and coaching not only others in karate, but in a variety of other sports. I did heal and recover and I am even healthier and stronger than I was in my 20s. I was not alone, I am not alone, I have never been alone, and I am current with a lady whom makes my cup runneth over with love, respect, admiration, support, and a divine partnership. A Proverbs 31 woman.
I am writing this to express to you, reader, to never give up, especially on yourself. Prove the naysayers wrong, block out pessimism, and negativity. Setbacks, mistakes and failures are just opportunities to learn, grow, improve and gain wisdom. Besides, a person never fails, unless they do not get back up.
Dream big, turn those dreams into a plan, and work that plan. Fear, and doubt are tools of the enemy. Comparison is the thief of joy. You cannot control what other people will think, say or do. However, you can control what you think, say, do, and how you influence others. Live your best life now. Do not just leave a legacy, live your legacy, right now, and each day.
Launch each day with Purpose, navigate with Principles, and explore with Passion!
I can admire and respect how some one may live out their faith, exercise their Spiritual Gifts, and help others to an understanding of the Gospel. However, I also believe some actions and behaviors do not justify the means. In regards to “Street Preachers”, I find some good, and can respect their efforts, but too often I discover some are going by it in the wrong manner not representative of Who Christ is, how He led His life, and how He spoke, led others, served, and loved.
I share this as during the Bengals game over the weekend there were several “Street Preachers” speaking from a bull horn. I do not believe there is anything wrong with that if a person is Called to do so while done in love while utilizing their Spiritual Gifts. However, when a person starts spouting hate, unscriptual discrimination, and shouting with a tone of uncontrollable hate, I draw the line. I want to take them by their bull horn and have a few biblically accurate conversations with them. Maybe some “tough love” conversation.
This type of so called “Street Preaching” can do more harm than any good. Printing condescending to down right hateful signs, and yelling at passer byes saying they are “going to burn in hell”, with printed signs that are more hateful than good, while walking into a football game with friends, family, including their children is counterproductive to the Gospel in my opinion and knowledge. Does someone actually believe Jesus, the Disciples, or Apostles would conduct themselves in such a manner. Yes, of course most people know that the bible says “the wages of sin is death” and “it is appointed once for a human to die, then the judgement”. I would think that speaking of how much God loves us, what He has done, and why, would be much better. I also think Jesus would walk along side others at the game, maybe sit down, and say, “so tell me your story”, or “how may I pray for you today?”, or “do you know what My Father did for you?” Not scream, get in my face, and hold a hateful sign of condescension.
Peeps, the Gospel is about love, realizing we are all sinners in need of a Savior, and that God loved us so much that He was willing to suffer an atrocious painful death so that we could have fellowship with Him. Of course it is about transformation to become better, to live a more moral life because we have accepted salvation, believe, and have received the gift of the Holy Spirit. However, the first step is that surrender, acceptance, and repentance. Coming just as you are no matter what you think you may have or may have not done. A person doesn’t clean up before jumping into the shower. Just make the decision, come, and jump in. Then it is to learn, willfully worship, serve, get equipped, and go out. To live out the relationship with God, and let our salt flavor and light shine. (Matthew 5:13-14). It is a continual learning, growing, and changing for the better process. I do not think this happens by beating people up with angry and spiteful words, and showing printed signs of hate to near malice. We should love the hell out of others, walk alongside them to the cross, and a relationship with God.
Sometimes I want to walk up to some of these abrasive “Street Preachers” and hand them a biblical sound gospel tract and say, “Do you truly know and understand the Gospel, the love of Christ, and how he lived, led, served and loved? Because what you are doing and how you are doing it, is not”
I have not weighed myself on my Wyze Smartscale since a few days before Christmas. When I did this morning, I was a bit shocked. Now, I did continue to work out hard in the gym 4 to 6 days a week like I normally do. However, I also had a few “cheat days” and snacking late in the evening certainly didn’t help matters. I fell to the weakness of Pecan Pie, too much red meat, chicken wings,…. The results is that I gained 19 pounds! That was the difference between December fist to January 5th. This goes to show that a person cannot out work a good eating habit.
Of course I am disappointed, but it is my own fault. So what shall I do? Give up on my #GetFitStayFit or my new #BetterMeIn2023? Of course not. I will do a 24 to 36 hr water only Fast as a reset and then stick to my #BetterMeIn2023 to the letter as the best I can. This all should get me back on track. However, instead of my goal of losing 26 lbs to get to my “ideal weight? I now need to lose 45 lbs. I wonder since I gained 19 lbs in 3 weeks, if I can then lose 19 lbs in 3 weeks?
Believe it or not, my biggest struggle with this revised #GetFitStayFit routine I am now calling #BetterMeIn2023 is being able to get an entire gallon of water in each day, getting to bed by 10pm (to get 8 hrs of sleep) and stepping away from the chicken wings. In addition, although I eat “healthy”, “low fat” snacks like blue corn chips, pretzel crisps, Triscuit wheat crackers with hummus, I tend to eat too many too late in the evening.
This new, improved and revised New Year Resolution of #BetterMeIn2023 is not just to related to weight and fitness. It is a goal to become more healthy, physically, mentally, spiritually, and financially.
Below is my new exercise/fitness routine:
This is what I am striving to get and/or maintain to become more Spiritually Healthy:
Invest time listening to inspirational music at least every morning
A daily time in reading the bible and in prayer
Church every Sunday, and when out of town or on vacation, stream church service
Mid-Week Bible Study
Connect more and more often with friends from church
Choose a charity to serve at least once a month
Be conscious and cautious of my investment of time in activities, behaviors, and with others so that it is more morally sound, and Christian oriented. To remember garbage in, garbage out this includes what I see and hear
This is what I am striving to get and/or maintain to become more Mentally Healthy:
Deep breathing meditation each morning
Prayer
Self Improvement reading and studies
Work to complete an additional counseling certification
Go to sleep at the same time and arise at the same time. The goal is in bed by 10pm and up by 6:30am
Engage with more positive and uplifting entertainment, people and activities
Always realize that one cannot control what people may think, say or do; however one can control what they think, say, do and how they influence others
Be conscious and cautious of my investment of time in activities, behaviors, and with others that is more productive and mentally healthy
This is what I am striving to get to and/or maintain to become more Financially Healthy
Watching unnecessary spending, and stick better to my budget I created long ago
Increase contributions to my 401k
Consult with Financial Advisor and Investor for additional investment and savings vehicles
Get out of all debt and stay out of debt. Design a plan, work and apply that plan
Remember if your physical, mental, spiritual, and financial well being is important to you, you will make time to improve it! We all can find or make time for what is truly important to us. Maybe stay off those devices more, stop binge watching useless television programs, stop wasting so much time on social media, and stop comparing yourself with others. Comparison is the thief of joy.
The bible statement is true, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” – Matthew 6:21
There are no circumstances uncommon to human kind, and no temptation too great that God has not made a way out. With the children of God, there are also no coincidences, just appointments, assignments, and something to learn.
“There is no passion found in settling for a life less than the one you are capable of living.” – Nelson Mandela
Why is it that some, or even most of us have settled? Maybe we settled for a relationship because we felt as if we didn’t deserve a better one, or that we didn’t want to be alone, or that we see everyone else in a relationship, and we feel we must be in one too? Maybe we settle for mediocrity because we feel as if we cannot accomplish anything more, or that we are not good enough? Maybe we don’t improve ourselves as we may think we are not smart enough, not athletic enough, or too fat, or too skinny?
STOP SETTLING!
There are 7.94 billion people in the world. There are 331 million people in the USA alone. There are over 162 million women and over 157 million men in the USA. Do you seriously think there isn’t that one solid, true relationship that was meant for you out there? In addition, why would you think a relationship would, or should validate you? Human relationships do not validate you, God does!
Stop settling for mister or misses right now, verses the right one for you now, tomorrow, and forever!
God asks us to wait on Him. To be still, and listen, yet we often do not listen. May we realize that God has some special person designed for each of us, and when we make rash, unsound, unstable decisions in relationships God has not planned for us, it just puts that true relationship we were meant for, delayed, or may not happen now, and we incur, or live with heartache, heart break, and the repercussions of wrong life decisions. Our wrong relationship decision sent us backward from priceless time with the right relationship. Why waste priceless and precious time! Stop throwing away and wasting time! If someone gets in a wrong relationship just because they do not want to be alone, or that everyone else around them is dating, needs to make friends with themselves first, and love themselves first, before they can truly find, or be in a healthy relationship they were meant for.
I had a friend tell me, “Look, we are not getting any younger. We only have so many more years of life and we need to have a woman in our lives to share it with.” I didn’t respond right away to this comment and it confused me a little. The statement is true and false at the same time. Sure none of us are getting any younger. Sure, on average, we only have so many years of our life. However, a relationship is not what makes a life full of joy. In fact, being in the wrong relationships can make life very difficult in all areas of our life, physically, mentally, spiritually, and financially. Please do not get me wrong, I enjoy sharing good life experiences with others, and what man wouldn’t enjoy a long term relationship with a woman. However, it should be the right woman.
Personally I have waited years before I even considered dating after divorce. In dating, after divorce, I took my time, and was not in a rush. I also had certain criteria and character traits as a priority before dating, or before a second, or third date was even considered. In which we all should. I also dated someone for many months before I even considered introducing them to my children. Just an FYI, and PSA; A parent should always put the emotional and mental health of their children first especially in regards to adult relationships.
Look, we have all made bad decisions, I know I have. However, I have also paid dearly for bad decisions, and have strived to learn from them and not repeat them. Especially as I have matured, grown older, and wiser. If we have made a bad relationship decision, and we break off and out of that bad relationship decision, do not go back to it. By the way, this includes friendships as well.
Remember Proverbs 26:11, “As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly.” and 2 Peter 2:22, “Of them the proverbs are true: A dog returns to its vomit,” and, A sow that is washed returns to her wallowing in the mud.’ “
And you and I are not dogs! Even without these bible verses or Christian overtones, it is simply stupid to continue making the same wrong decisions and mistakes. It is the definition of insanity.
In addition, none of us “need” the wrong relationship whether right now, or in the future. The line in the movie Jerry McQuire when Jerry McQuire said, “You complete me”, sounded great, right? However, please keep in mind that was a movie line and another person does not and cannot complete you. Biblically, God is Whom validates you. You were already complete when He created you. As I have heard a pastor say from a recent message, saying “You complete me” is actually a selfish statement as it is about ones self as it’s saying “I need you, because of me, and I need completed.”, as this pastor shared. Please keep in mind that if someone is always needing someone else, or feeling they must be in a relationship to feel complete is a co-dependent symptom. This is not emotionally and mentally healthy to constantly think you need or require a mate to be happy, and complete.
Why would we think we cannot improve, learn, and grow?
There are millions of people whom had near nothing, or with handicaps, and setbacks so intense it would make your head spin, that have achieved monumental success and some even changed the world. There are lists after lists of common people, or people with handicaps or adverse circumstances that did and accomplished amazing and extraordinary things. Why would we think we couldn’t improve, learn and grow, even if it was a baby step at a time?
If you are overweight or obese. Go see a doctor. Why wait?! Get your medical doctors diagnosis, and prognosis. If we can spend thousands of dollars on the latest gadgets, fashionable clothing, how much more is our own health worth? See that medical doctor, nutritionist, and certified health and fitness coach. Have each of them work together to design a plan, and work that plan. Step away from those unhealthy meals, behaviors, and get in motion. A visit to the doctor and nutritionist may cost you $250 each if you do not have health insurance, however how much did that “smartphone” cost that you are holding in your hand, or that second big flat screen you have cost? Isn’t your health worth more than a gadget?
Do you want a better job, or make more money? Would you like to retire comfortable? Then isn’t it time to do something about it? How about taking those extra courses, or finish your degree, or next degree? Many employers pay or help pay for additional education, and additional education helps open doors to promotions or better jobs. If you want to retire more comfortable, then watch your unnecessary spending, and pay off debt as fast as possible, and stay out of debt. Think first before you buy something if you truly need it, and if you are struggling financially, then think is this purchase required to live or life crucial? Eat more at home, and make dinners that are inexpensive that can be eaten as left overs for days. Maximize your 401k, get a self-directed IRA or ROTH IRA. Look into some low cost managed mutual funds. Create hobby or side hussle that you can make some extra money to save, invest, or pay off debt with.
Do you feel as if your faith is lacking? Do you feel distant from God? Would you like to grow closer in a relationship with Jesus Christ and have your loved ones along with you? Then start reading the bible more and more often. Create a daily time in eacg morning, day, or evening for a devotional, time in prayer, and inspirational music and invite or challenge your loved ones to join along. Stop missing church gatherings on Sunday, and get involved in a group at church. Attend mid-week bible studies. Plan gatherings and outings with your church friends and family.
Remember if your physical, mental, spiritual, and financial well being is important to you, you will make time to improve it! We all can find or make time for what is truly important to us. Maybe stay off those devices more, stop binge watching useless television programs, stop wasting so much time on social media, and stop comparing yourself with others. Comparison is the thief of joy.
The bible statement is true, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” – Matthew 6:21
Stop making excuses. Stop blaming others or your circumstances. Stop telling yourself you are too old, too weak, too skinny, too fat… Stop listening to the naysayers and negative complainers. Stop saying I can’t and instead say, “I will try and do my very best.”
Challenges are what make human beings come alive and grow. Adversities, mistakes, and setbacks should be leveraged as learning experiences, not permanent failures. I try to hold onto this saying that I derived from something a Christian Brother tried to convey to me during a difficult time in my life that I called a “Perfect Storm,”;
There are no circumstances uncommon to human kind, and no temptation too great that God has not made a way out. With the children of God, there are also no coincidences, just appointments, assignments, and something to learn.
Be patient, give yourself some credit that you are even alive, no matter your age. Get up, make a plan, work that plan, get out, and make it happen! Growth never comes from a place of comfort and stagnation. If you want a better relationship, be a better you, and allow the law of attraction to bring the right people into your life, and let the wrong people go. Be determined, disciplined, and diligent to become healthier physically, mentally, spiritually, and financially. And guess what? You will attract others whom are also healthier physically, mentally, spiritually, and financially.
Don’t settle for less, when you are capable of so much more! You were not created for mediocrity. You were fearfully, miraculously, and wonderfully created for a purpose! So start right now, this day, this moment, to launch the gift of your life with Purpose, navigate with Principles, and explore with Passion!
“There is no passion found in settling for a life less than the one you are capable of living.” – Nelson Mandela
Often people will say to me that they go to the gym a couple times a week, and also invest about an hour on the treadmill a couple times a week and they see no weight loss, or muscle gains, or muscle definition.
Then I ask them what they eat, and their answers are typically junk like double cheeseburgers, deluxe thick crust pizzas, bags of potato chips, french fries, lots of soda, sweets, craft beer, plenty of deep fried foods, and white bread…
Then I ask them how long have them been working out, and often their answers are 2 to 3 months.
Here’s the deal, a person didn’t gain the weight overnight. Why would they expect to lose that weight that took many months to years to gain, to even be possible to shed in a mere 2 to 3 months? In addition, no matter how much a person works out, a person cannot out work a good healthy eating habit. These are physiological, medical, and statistical facts! Results are 80% or more in diet.
First of all if you want to lose weight you MUST be in a calorie deficit for a measurably period of time. Consume some good, proven, and scientifically tested supplements and vitamins. Eat until you are adequately content, and not full. Stop the sugary drinks and sodas. Eliminate most, if not all white enriched breads, step away from fried foods (go grilled, roasted, or baked, with no breading if possible), and processed foods as much as possible if not almost entirely for a while. Step away from the regular pastas and go with veggie pasta. It tastes nearly the same. If you cannot give up pizza, then go with thin crust, and minimal meat, or opt out of meat, and do a veggie thin crust pizza or better yet go with a cauliflower crust. If you love your cheeseburgers, and other red meats, then choose as lean as possible (i.e. 90% lean), remove the bun, go light on the condiments, and try leaner types of cheese. Choose Almond Milk, instead of regular fatty milk. Choose Greek yogurt with fresh fruit, and honey, instead of ice cream. My favorite way of eating that I am often able to maintain is the “Mediterranean way” using the “Mediterranean Diet” foods. Test out Intermittent Fasting (aka “IF”). You have to make healthy eating a way of life, not a temporary fix.
Two days a week is not enough to get good results. If you are over weight, or obese, and want to cut, increase muscle size, and strength; I recommend 4 to 6 days a week and isolate muscle groups every other day such as this example: Mondays= Chest & Triceps, Tuesdays= Legs & Core, Wednesdays= Back & Biceps, Thursdays= Legs & Core, Fridays=Chest & Triceps, Saturdays=Back & Biceps, Sundays= Complete Day of rest and recovery. Do cardio at the end of your weight lifting but not every day. Choose maybe 2 to 3 days a week. You often burn more calories with heavy weight lifting than you do on a treadmill (except for “HiiTs”), especially with leg work outs. You also want to save your glycogen for the weight training, verses expending it all on the treadmill, bike, or elliptical. Use the treadmill at the beginning for a fast walk for about 5 minutes for a warm up. Do light dynamic stretching and not static for a warm up. Start also counting your steps, calories and Macros with a Fitbit or other similar tracking device and start with getting 3 miles (6k steps) for the first month or so, then work up to 5 miles (10k steps) a day and strive to maintain 5 miles (10k) a day, every day. It is important that when a person is working out in this manner, or up to this manner, to stay well hydrated (no less than 1/2 to 1 gallon of water a day), and consume a lot of protein. No less than .80 per pound of body weight. Many trainers suggest 1.0 to 1.2 of body weight.
Now you may be thinking this is all impossible.Although you should most definitely check with your medical doctor and get his approval before launching into any exercise routing or eating habit, however I assure you it is possible as I do it. Now I am up there in years, broke 15 bones in a motorcycle accident at the end of 2016, tore my rotary cuff and dislocated a shoulder in karate tournaments, hyper extended my knees several times, including my elbow, in karate, told by my doctor I have arthritis in my hips… However, since my new years resolutions of #getfitstayfit started on 1/1/2020, I have lost over 40lbs, and kept it off. I am down well over 4 waist sizes, gained 1 to 3 inches in muscle size, lowered my resting heart rate by over 20 pts., and feel nearly as I did in my 20s.
To be candid, you will have to embrace the suck, and suck up the pain due to sucking up too much junk foods, and being sedentary for too long and/or too often. You will need to stop making excuses, or talking about what you need to do such as lose weight, get in shape, etc… And do it, right now, and stay with it to make it a way of life. You deserve it, and so do your loved ones. You can experience the pain of discipline, or experience the pain of regret. It is your choice.
Write out a plan that you can measure,get an accountability partner, or hire a personal trainer; then act upon that plan right away, and make it away of life for a longer, healthier, and more fulfilling life. Start right now. Getting fit and staying fit is a lot more fun with a friend or family member. They can help motivate you and you them, as well as keep you accountable. Consider hiring a personal trainer that is certified, and not only gets results but lives out their own results.
Be patient, determined, diligent, and disciplined. Please keep in mind the results will not be overnight, not even over 3 months, but in about 6 months you will start seeing some results, and at about a year you will be doing much better, and possibly hit near your goal. In 2 years you should be there or at least almost there. But don’t stop then, make it a way of life. You and your loved ones are worth it.
In addition, getting fit and staying fit is biblical. So for those whom believe in the bible, and it’s foundational truths, or anyone of most any faith that thinks it is vain, selfish or narcissistic to get fit and stay fit would be inaccurate. Yes we are to love God, love people just as we love ourselves as the bible verses and even commandments dictate. However, do you catch the we are to love ourselves. Remember, we are God’s creation, and our bodies are referenced as temples in which we are to take good care of maintaining. We are also not just physical beings, we are also mental and spiritual. We should keep all three aspects healthy and fit.
Here are some verses that support getting fit and remaining fit;
“Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” — 1 Corinthians 6:19–20
“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” — Romans 12:1–2
“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.” — 1 Corinthians 9:24–27
“Choose for your tribes wise, understanding, and experienced men, and I will appoint them as your heads.’ “ — Deuteronomy 1:13
“For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees,” — Hebrews 12:11–12
“Strengthen the weak hands, and make firm the feeble knees.” — Isaiah 35:3 “A wise man is full of strength, and a man of knowledge enhances his might,” — Proverbs 24:5
“At the end of ten days it was seen that they were better in appearance and fatter in flesh than all the youths who ate the king’s food.” — Daniel 1:15
Maybe it is just me… However, over the last few years I have experience that the average millennial I come across or engage with doesn’t listen to their elders, they are not open to advice, or instruction, even those whom most consider wise, and have credentials to prove it. With me, I have often sought after the wisdom of my elders that I know, respect, admire, and have accomplished much. (Heck, I go up to those older than me, and ask them questions whether I know them well or not.) At least over the last generation or so. It is just common sense.
If you have weathered the test of time, reached an older age, & accomplished much, only a fool would not consider listening to or striving to glean from their wisdom. BTW, that is very biblical, see the book of Proverbs, or even Buddism, or most religions for that matter.
Just an FYI, Millennials, you are twenty and thirty somethings, and just because you may have a college degree, (or not), or think you will change the world after a few years out of high school, that does not dictate wisdom. So calm down, and take a breath, and try to glean some wisdom from your elders that have made many mistakes, learned from those mistakes, and are still here grinding away in their gray haired days. Don’t automatically think you know it all, or have arrived. You have just started your journey. If you don’t then you certainly prove that you are not very smart, and know little to nothing about wisdom.
Guess what, with me being open to advice, and instruction from my elders, I have prevented a few mistakes, I have learned to better overcome adversity, as well as learned what is truly most important in life which the top are to love myself, forgive myself, love others, & forgive others, to pour pour as much love and wisdom into my children and make a positive impact in the lives of others.
The “good life” is not about how many title or toys you have or money you make, it is about how many lives you touch & good you create.
I am blessed with a son whom is of the Generation Z, and he is very coachable, listens to advice, receives instruction, and applies it. Maybe Generation Z is the next best generation. Or maybe I have done my best to raise him well, and most of it stuck. For this I am thankful.
Please keep in mind that this time of the year may not be as merry or seemingly happy for some. There are people struggling whether financially or emotionally. Some may be saying good bye to a loved one, or not have a loved on or loved ones in their lives as they once did. May we have a little more patience with others, extend a little more grace, and demonstrate the gift of kindness and our presence with our presents this Christmas.
To all of my three children, I love you unconditionally, and will always be one call, email or text away no matter where you are, or if you are in my life or not. A good father always loves, and welcomes their children with open arms no matter the passing of time, the distance, or circumstances.
To my parents, know that although these years of your life may be challenging, know that I love you, admire you, and wish to thank your for raising me, even at the times we did not see eye to eye, or it may have been very difficult with my tendency to be bull headed, especially in my more youthful years.
To my circle of friends, thank you for being in my life both extending encouragement, inspiration, as well as accountability.
To the woman I have shared the last 22 months with, thank you for being you, for being a woman after God’s own heart, an excellent mother to three fine young men, an excellent example to my own son, and a woman whom makes my cup runneth over. I adore, love and appreciate you.
Time is priceless, and precious. Invest it wisely and may we all give the gift of our engaging presence with our presents this Christmas.
“Just fight a little longer my friend, it’s all worth it in the end. But when you got nobody to turn to, just hold on and I’ll find you…”
So, what is a man? Sounds like a simply question to have an answer, right? Well it seems in today’s society with the preferred pronouns from certain segments of society or possibly this present younger generation we may possibly get a variation of answers, or it may be difficult for them to answer. So let’s simply start with what merriam-webster dictionary defines as a man.
1 : an individual human especially : an adult male human
Well that wasn’t a well defined definition was it? Let’s then look a the definition of male.
1 : of, relating to, or being the sex that typically has the capacity to produce relatively small, usually motile gametes which fertilize the eggs of a female
Guess that is a little better. However, I tend to like how Wikipedia defines it a bit better.
A man is an adult male human.[1][2] Prior to adulthood, a male human is referred to as a boy (a male child or adolescent). Like most other male mammals, a man’s genome usually inherits an X chromosome from the mother and a Y chromosome from the father. Sex differentiation of the male fetus is governed by the SRY gene on the Y chromosome. During puberty, hormones which stimulate androgen production result in the development of secondary sexual characteristics, thus exhibiting greater differences between the sexes. These include greater muscle mass, the growth of facial hair and a lower body fat composition. Male anatomy is distinguished from female anatomy by the male reproductive system, which includes the penis, testicles, sperm duct, prostate gland and the epididymis, and by secondary sex characteristics, including a narrower pelvis, narrower hips, and smaller breasts without mammary glands. Throughout human history, traditional gender roles have often defined and limited men’s activities and opportunities. Men often face conscription into military service or are directed into professions with high mortality rates, resulting in a shorter life expectancy than women. Many religious doctrines stipulate certain rules for men, such as forced circumcision. Men are over-represented as both perpetrators and victims of violence.
Now let’s see how the Bible Dictionary defines man.
“Heb. ‘Adam, used as the proper name of the first man. The name is derived from a word meaning “to be red,” and thus the first man was called Adam because he was formed from the red earth. It is also the generic name of the human race ( Genesis 1:26 Genesis 1:27 ; 5:2 ; 8:21 ; Deuteronomy 8:3 ). Its equivalents are the Latin homo and the Greek anthropos ( Matthew 5:13 Matthew 5:16 ). It denotes also man in opposition to woman ( Genesis 3:12 ; Matthew 19:10 ).
Heb. ‘ish, like the Latin vir and Greek aner, denotes properly a man in opposition to a woman ( 1 Samuel 17:33 ; Matthew 14:21 ); a husband ( Genesis 3:16 ; Hosea 2:16 ); man with reference to excellent mental qualities.
Heb. ‘enosh, man as mortal, transient, perishable ( 2 Chronicles 14:11 ; Isaiah 8:1 ; Job 15:14 ; Psalms 8:4 ; Psalms 9:19 Psalms 9:20 ; 103:15 ). It is applied to women ( Joshua 8:25 ).
Heb. geber, man with reference to his strength, as distinguished from women ( Deuteronomy 22:5 ) and from children ( Exodus 12:37 ); a husband ( Proverbs 6:34 ).
Heb. methim, men as mortal ( Isaiah 41:14 ), and as opposed to women and children ( Deuteronomy 3:6 ; Job 11:3 ; Isaiah 3:25 ). Man was created by the immediate hand of God, and is generically different from all other creatures ( Genesis 1:26 Genesis 1:27 ; 2:7 ). His complex nature is composed of two elements, two distinct substances, viz., body and soul ( Genesis 2:7 ; Eccl 12:7 ; 2 co 5:1-8 ). The words translated “spirit” and “soul,” in 1 Thessalonians 5:23 , Hebrews 4:12 , are habitually used interchangeably ( Matthew 10:28 ; 16:26 ; 1 Peter 1:22 ). The “spirit” (Gr. pneuma) is the soul as rational; the “soul” (Gr. psuche) is the same, considered as the animating and vital principle of the body. Man was created in the likeness of God as to the perfection of his nature, in knowledge ( Colossians 3:10 ), righteousness, and holiness ( Ephesians 4:24 ), and as having dominion over all the inferior creatures ( Genesis 1:28 ). He had in his original state God’s law written on his heart, and had power to obey it, and yet was capable of disobeying, being left to the freedom of his own will. He was created with holy dispositions, prompting him to holy actions; but he was fallible, and did fall from his integrity ( 3:1-6 ). (See FALL .)”
I realize that was a much longer definition for a man, however I do like it better especially when it is derived from the Word of God and since He is the Creator of all things, I tend to prefer His definition. How about you?
I think a good place to start learning to be a better man in today’s society and digital world is to first know how a man is defined, especially from the Bible. The second would be to understand male personality types. Personality Types that decide a man’s characteristic traits. There are many male personality types out there, but not all of them are the same. Some male personalities are more common than others, and understanding this is important for relationships. With that in mind, I will share some of the most common known male personality types. Keep in mind, a man may not completely align into one type or the other, but a man’s personality type will be more of one type than the other in which they will fall under. The main ones are alpha, beta, gamma, delta, omega, and sigma. All of them are unique in their own way and have different characteristics that determine them. There are tests to find it out. As a man, you may look into what traits you possess and see which one you are.
Below is a brief summary from Influence Digest. So this summary is not my words. Although it is not an entirely comprehensive and psychological guide, it does provide a fair summary. Again, I would suggest that a man take an official and credible test from a reliable source to be more accurate.
“Beta Male This personality type is attached to men who are more submissive. If you were ever asked by friends the question “are you a beta male” they probably thought you have this trait. Beta males are often known to be people pleasers and often quite helpful. They are usually the male in a group who gets along best with everyone and is trusted by many. Beta males tend to work well in teams, they also make great listeners and can offer good advice when needed due to their willingness to compromise on most issues. Their peaceful nature makes it easy for them to get along with others even if their opinions differ from each other. Other features of beta males are that they tend to be very good-looking and likable. However, these men can struggle with getting into relationships as their friendly nature often means that they are taken advantage of.
Alpha Male This is probably the most common male personality type. They are strong, confident, and always ready to take on the world around them. Alpha male personalities are often admired because of their self-confidence but this is not something they can turn off when needed so it makes sense that others may feel intimidated by alpha males’ loud nature. They don’t usually see themselves as bullies per se or, even control freaks. However, they do like to be in charge which means you better listen up if an alpha male speaks! A man like this needs someone who will stand up for him against other people’s criticism too. Just try not to get into arguments with anyone else yourself while dating one though.
The Gamma Male Gamma males are also known as male feminists or male allies. This male personality type is characterized by their desire to be seen as equal, regardless of sex or gender identity. Rather than insisting on being dominant in social interactions, gamma males are quietly aware that they have more to learn from the women around them. While some men may feel intimidated by strong and successful women, gamma males feel empowered when surrounded by females who are comfortable wielding power over themselves and others. Women find empowerment through the support network of other spirited ladies, whereas gamma males tend to seek out female mentors for guidance instead of seeking similar advice amongst male peers.
The Omega Male This male personality type is believed by some to be the male equivalent of a female’s Alpha personality type. Whilst this may not always be true, there are certainly similarities between these men and alpha females. While omega male traits don’t necessarily mean that someone will lack confidence or drive it can often become difficult for them to express their needs in relationships or personal life situations. The omega male characteristics are the following: calm and stoic low energy levels gentle nature but with strong opinions when pushed to the limit very introverted male male with low self-esteem male who often struggles to stand up for themselves in the face of conflict or pressure from other people male who may have a history of mental health issues
The Delta Male Delta males are often the male equivalent of the “wallflower”. They are typically quiet, reserved individuals that have a hard time expressing their feelings. While they may seem shy or timid to others, deep down inside they often possess inner confidence and drive with which most other male personality types cannot compete. Delta males make up around 13% of all male personalities, according to recent estimates of male demographics studies conducted by psychologists. At first glance, delta males appear relatively normal. However, upon closer inspection, one will notice certain differences in both body language and facial expressions when compared with alpha (dominant) male behavior patterns.
The Sigma Male Sigma males are those who possess the qualities of both an alpha and a beta. They are not content with simply following the lead of others, but they also don’t want to be in charge all the time.This personality type is often misunderstood and misinterpreted. This male personality type falls outside the traditional male types, so it can be difficult to understand at first. However, sigma males are extremely rare, making only about one percent of all men fall into this category. The male understanding these traits will help them better connect with other people but also bring more success in their lives as well! These men are confident and like to stand out. They do not care about following social norms, instead of living life on their own terms. Sigma male personalities tend to be very different from the rest of society but are often seen as eccentric because they do things differently than most people around them. While sigmas may be misunderstood by many, there are some reasons why they often ignore you. Sigma males are not easily impressed by others, no matter who they are. They have high standards and don’t give their approval lightly. This can make them seem unapproachable or even judgmental, but they simply don’t put much stock in what other people think. They’re the type of man who knows exactly who he is and what he wants out of life. Rather than being swayed by fads or peer pressure, they base their actions and decisions on personal principles and values.”
Now that we have defined what a man is, and summarize the top 6 male personality types, what do you think today’s society defines or portrays as a man?
We will talk more about that in part 3 of series or chapter 2. I will also be having a female guest sitting down with me on the podcast and on the Purpose Principles Passion YouTube Channel on the PlayList, “He Said, She Said”. So stay tuned, subscribe and check back often.
Do YOU have the strength, the fortitude, the power to “shut it down” to work on you? Here is a challenge for you, and maybe an action to put your New Year Resolution into motion. Beginning on the first day of this coming New Year, 1/1/2023 log out of social media, shut it down, for 30 days to work on you, and your goals. To get into the gym for 30 days straight, to eat healthier, to read that book(s) you have been wanting to read. To work on you, and your physical, mental, and spiritual well being. Are you able? Do you have what it takes? Can YOU resist the temptation? Are you willing to make a difference for yourself and un-plug, re-charge, and work on you?
Don’t get me wrong, social media can be a good tool for the good. For work/business, for inspiration, encouragement, and sharing memories with friends and loved ones. I leverage it both for ministry as well as keeping in contact with friends. However, much of social media is intentially designed to be addictive, to stay on it for hours at a time. To suck you in, to keep you in, which robs you of priceless time and disconnects you with real life personal relationships.
I have personally witnessed friends posting 15 to 30 posts in one day on Facebook alone! I have witnessed both the young and old sitting at dinner tables not even speaking to one another while continuously on their devices barely saying one word to another. People taking selfies multiple times in one day thinking in some way if provides them validation. I have seen people walking down the street with their faces buried in their devices while walking into traffic. We are missing the gift of the moment folks, we are missing interacting with the priceless relationships we have right in front of us. No one will say on their death bed that they wished they spent more time at work, nor more time on social media. How about we take a challenge on New Years Day to disappear off of social media for 30 days to work on ourselves, and the priceless relationships right in front of us?
Can YOU un-plug, to re-charge, to work on you, and your goals for 30 days? And maybe shock others with what you are able to achieve?
If you have not noticed, you may have seen less of me on social media. Although I am a writer, podcaster, YouTuber, and enjoy leveraging social media for ministry, work, and engaging with friends and family from afar, I am measuring my time on social media, and utilizing more of my time of being in the moment, especially with loved ones right in front of me in addition to my goals, reading, and writing. So if you see me disappear for days, to weeks, even a month, this is why. Because those I am with in the moment, and my valuable irreplaceable time is more important than social media. So are my goals to be more healthy, physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Purpose Principles Passion 
You must be logged in to post a comment.