Life Review Interview and Reflection

My interview is of my friend, Kay Van. Kay is a female that is 59 years old. She has three grown adult sons in which two are married and one is in a serious dating relationship. She has two grandchildren from her oldest son, and her second born son is planning for children with his new wife. The interview has been conducted in a casual sense with approximately 15 questions asked which cover childhood, to adolescence, to adulthood, to middle adulthood in which that is her current life development stage.

Developmental Analysis and Biblical Integration

From an early age Kay’s identity of self-concept and self-esteem came from spiritual influence. Her earliest memory is of her grandmother braiding her hair while she sat in church on a hardwood pew where she also learned the Lord’s prayer,  “Pray then like this: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses (English Standard Bible, 2001/2016, Matthew 6:9-15). A memory that stands out the most was the times she invested with her brother “creeking” catching all sorts of creatures. Her relationship with her brother was and still is very strong and they both learned well how to adapt and make new friends due to the many times they moved throughout their childhood and adolescence. Kay adds that they are both life that to this very day.

The most impactful to self-concept, self-esteem, and self-efficacy as part of psychosocial development and identity formation which is a developmental milestone typically associated with adolescence (Cashion et al., 2019), were driven by when she felt she first discovered who she was which began in childhood, into adolescence, and into early adulthood. Kay Van (2023) stated, “I discovered who I was from sitting on a hillside behind on my house having an out loud conversations with God. I always knew, as far back as I could remember, that I was a child of God, before I even knew what salvation was, because I knew God was there an he was listening to me all the time. I knew I belonged to God. Even though I did not have a father, that He was my father and the champion of the fatherless. Therefore my relationship with Christ instilled in me who I was, and who I am, was and is His. I have and still have regular conversations to this day with my heavenly Father, thanking Him for all that I have to the smallest of things.”

It is evident from Kay’s responses that from childhood all the way into middle adulthood that God, faith and the Bible played an import role and included her development. Furthermore, in regards to Erick Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development, Kay leaned on the more positive and growth oriented stages such as identify verses diffusion in adolescence, intimacy verses isolation in young adulthood, and generativity verses stagnation in middle adulthood (Cashion et al., 2019). This is supported and driven by her connection to God, her family, and a mentor, her commanding officer in the army, whom instilled a that passion, drive and promoted her while telling her that she was meant and designed to help people.

When I asked Kay what other things affected her self-concept, self-esteem, and self efficacy as described in (Cashion et al., 2019), she often pointed to faith, family, mentors, but also eluded to the experience of marriage and a painful divorce made one of the biggest impacts in her self esteem with the reply of, “The biggest impact in my self esteem was coming thru the realization coming through a difficult divorce that I am enough. No one defines me. I do not need to change for anyone. I need to change to be a better Christ centered believer. Not a person centered believer” (Kay Van 2023).

When I asked about Kay’s current status and plans for retirement they remained consistent with what built upon her self-concept, self-esteem, and self-efficacy as a child until know that her faith, family and close relationships were most important. That her cognitive abilities have not slowed due to engagement involvements with work, family, the community, community, fitness and exercise. However, because she is looking ahead at her future, what she needs to be successful, and not as to be a burden to her family, she has and still is planning well for retirement. Her plan is to retire between 62 to 64. During retirement she plans on remaining listening well to God, be active in her community, her church, be self sufficient, exercise and travel while remaining financially stable.

Insights

It is evident religion/spirituality played an important role in Kay’s life beginning at childhood, through adolescence, into emerging adulthood, and middle adulthood. I found it not only intriguing and inspirational that she was very outgoing and social all of her life while leaning on her faith in God to be that father figure along with credit wise mentors and family members. Her scope within the psychosocial development phases as described by Erik Erikson (Cashion et al., 2019), was always on the more positive scope which I believe also helped he persevere. In conclusion by combining faith, key family members and wise mentors assists in a healthy development through life’s stages and an ability to overcome and persevere. From my conversations with Kay, I found her to be a very strong woman, a remarkable mother, whom is driven to excel not from a point of perfection, but from life’s experience, a position of constant gratitude, and a genuine sense to make a positive impact in the life of others.

References

Cashion, V., Shriner, B., Shriner, M., & Mossler, R. A. (2019). Lifespan 360: Christian perspectives on human development (2nd ed.). Kendall Hunt.

English Standard Bible. (2016). https://esv.literalword.com/ (Original work published 2001)